


Ronald McDonald's Typical Day

by PickleGarden



Category: TV Commercials
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-11 01:45:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12924684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PickleGarden/pseuds/PickleGarden
Summary: A McDonalds Commercial from 1991 with a much needed satirical 2017 reboot.  It's meant to be funny.





	Ronald McDonald's Typical Day

Introducing a Day In The Life of Ronald McDonald.

We find Ronald was in bed. His alarm clock was about to go off.

"Well Ronald I'm off now!" The Alarm Clock announced jumping out the bedroom window. "Off to John Conyers House!"

"See you tomorrow!" Ronald called out headed for the bathroom.

Next it's time to take a bath. Then finds out someone has already taken it!

Ronald goes to take a bath only to find his bath tub is gone.

The culprit was Al Franken!

Ronald had his mouth wide open in awe as he sees Al Franken run out of his house. "Later, asshole!"

He goes to his closet and decides what he wants to wear.

Ronald's closet was full of Bill Clinton's and Dick Morris's underwear. "What to wear what to wear!"

Going outside, greeting his ever present fans. "Hi, Fans!" His fans were rabid fanatics. "I'm your number one fan, Ronald!" "I want to have your baby!" "Kiss Me! I'm a Virgin!" "I wanna suck every part of your body!"

Ronald stop to put smiles on the Fry Kids' faces. The smiles were made out of paper. "Get these fake mouths off our faces you son of a bitch!" yelled the Fry Kids at Ronald. "Just because we don't have mouths!" "We find this offensive!" "I can't breathe!" 

Then Ronald answers his iPhones with Poop emojis.

Ronald hops a cab and goes to a recording session with an actual rock band...The Chainsmokers!

On a day that would exhaust any regular clown. Ronald joins the McNuggets, Hamburglar, Birdy, Grimace and the Fry Kids to the Porno Theater.

Ronald says goodbye to his fanatical fans without getting roofied. Picks up his favorite news paper. The Daily Kose.

The day ends with Ronald reading to the Fry Kids his favorite books. Stephen King's IT and Megyn Kelly's Settle For More.

Thank You Ronald, for showing us how you live your day!

The Golden Arches are shown. The jingle sings, Ba Da Da Da Da! I'm Lovin' It!


End file.
